Hi Everyone,

If you are reading this you have been redirected here from another site, one of my old sites and I just wanted to let you know that I am taking my creative pursuits and writing away from the internet and back into paper and pen.

Life takes interesting turns and I am so thrilled right now with the opportunities in my life. I am going to jump into my life with both feet. Without fear. Wholly operating out of loving and divine principles. My faith as per usual has set me free and I have manfiested my dreams. Thank you thank thank you. To all of you be well. I have appreciated you reading my blog and traveling with me along my way for the last 2.5 years. I may be back. God Bless!

Simone Nicole

The Brown Skin Lady

I’m moving, yet again. Third move in NYC. This time into my own place. It’s a major transition and when I don’t know what else to do I write. I find myself in a very secure place considering the upheaval happening all around me. My move to NYC has been littered with major stressors that have made me often ponder if my decision was the best for me but I’m here and I’ve learned more about myself and how strong I am and the areas for improvement in these past eight months than in most of my life.

As a young woman I have learned a few key lessons, you know who loves you when you are drowning and they save you and you only learn how strong you’ve become and how much you’ve grown when difficult situations come face to face with you. That said, I’m moving and although it’s happening at an odd pace and a relatively inconvenient time I’m doing what I normally do I’m searching for the positivity in this.

I have lived on my own my entire life and always found it fulfilling. I find that I do more, take better care of myself, and generally I am bit happier when I’m living alone. But I’ll be honest the idea of living alone in NYC is scary and a bit overwhelming but I can do it ladies and gentlemen. I’m going to take it one day at a time and piece my piece make my own home here in NYC. Invite my friends over, dance, laugh, cook, survive, thrive. That’s what I do…like a wild flower, I blossom even between the cracks in the cement.  Free falling like a seed, caught on God’s wind. Thank you to all of the people who are supporting me and my suggestion to all of you all is to find people to lean on and make sure that they know how much they’re appreciate.

Love,

The Brown Skin Lady

Simone Nicole

P.S. My first week at work was great. I enjoy my co-workers and my responsibilities and I feel very lucky to have this opportunity and I am going to show them how valuable I am and eventually be like…super important at the UN hahaha. NYC, I am being unleashed…are you ready for me?

Here I stand
On the precipice of great change
Buoyed by hope and insight
The harbor of my destiny begs my arrival
The waves of fear and doubt crash against my vessel
I remain unswayed
Steadied I go forth
forward moving
Giant
Sails girded in self satisfaction
This is my journey
I am the captain
This ship points towards the future and I
am setting sail.

Just a little off the cuff poem I wrote this morning, I’m not really a nautical writer but I figured hey why not, right? So the big day is tomorrow. I start my job at the UN. The UN! WOOOHOO! I have waited nearly 8 months for this day. The day before my first day of work. I have been in New York longer than I realized and now I can honestly say that I have a life down here. My mom used to tell me that when you move someplace new it takes nearly a year to adjust, I used to laugh and chalk this ridiculous “wisdom” up to our age differential. I figured that I grew up doing things quickly. I grew up with the internet, my friends and I were fast so I could settle down and have someplace feeling like home within a matter of months. Well Mom, if you’re reading this, You Were Right. There I said it, I even capitalized it. You were right. It is taking time to make this new place home but it’s happening. My life which felt out of context when I first got to NYC feels like home. I have a romantic relationship, I have close friends, I have acquaintances, I have hobbies (see the Lavender Light Gospel Choir and handmade card making), and my sense of self has returned, I feel like Albany me but…sassier, more confident, and happier. My life feels as if there is a pulsation of vitality that is constantly increased by the adventures I’m having here in NYC. That said, I think a little music to get me pumped today will be good, it’s a song I’ve been listening to on repeat on my I-pod and it makes me feel powerful. Don’t laugh, it’s Drake and Lil Wayne, “I’m Going In.”

Happy Sunday,
Simone Nicole

I’ve been unemployed for over six months. Until Friday I was convinced that I would never again find a job and I would live off of my girlfriend once my unemployment ended in February. I was scared that I would become part of “the system” and I would be discounted and *gasp* horrors of horrors (insert a bit of sarcasm) poor. In my head all my dreams would fade away and I would just become another black lesbian statistic.

But then, I got an email. DZ (initials used to protect the innocent) at UNIFEM, the Fund for Gender Equality.  UNIFEM is part of the United Nations and they give out major grants to countries to help development and implement laws and policies that promote economic justice, safety, and health for women and girls around the world.  She emailed me because after not getting the last job I interviewed the organization shopped my resume around and DZ wanted to interview me, I interviewed and an hour later I got the call, I LANDED THE JOB!

Now yes, it is a consulting job that starts at 3 months and will most likely get extended several times. But the whole point is, Simone Nicole works for the United Nations! HOW COOL! HOW COOL! HOW COOL! (see–very cool)

I start in a couple of weeks and my self-esteem has already sky rocketed. The end of my employment upstate was a major blow to my sense of self but I’m back baby I’m building and I’m getting really excited.

Yesterday I went out and got a new coat and some fresh boots and it made me feel like a shiny new penny. When I lived upstate there were these girls that I worked with who didn’t like me because they felt I was materialistic but I have to say there is something to fresh clothes (even if they are thrift) that makes you feel a bit brand new.

Happy Monday!

Where is my destiny taking me?

Writing is a strange process. Often times we think that we need to begin with a topic, a specific strand or theme. An orientation to the piece, a path, or at least a verbal destiny. I beg to differ. The best advice that I’ve recieved about writing has been to just do it, start writing and see where your spirit takes you.

I recently applied to a program called Tounges Afire, a lesbian of color writing project based out of the Audre Lorde Project in Brooklyn, NY. I didn’t make it, competition was stiff and I was a bit disheartened but it hasn’t affected my need to write. There are many things going on in the world of The Brown Skin Lady and I can only process them through writing.

Originally this blog was personal but not too personal, but at this point I am sick of the blog controlling me and I am regaining control by posting whatever it is that I need to post, that said.

Sometimes, at nearly 25, I have this unsetteling feeling that I have absolutely no idea who I am or what I am here (aka my life’s purpose) I saw a performance last night by this gender performer named Dred and at the end of the performance with a brillant smile lined with chocolate lipstick she said, “I am so happy to be living my purpose.”

It made me wonder if I knew my purpose and I can honestly say I’m not positive but I have some ideas. Something to do with women’s equality and justice, lesbians in particular, women of color in particular, and mental health rights and policy and above all else love.

So for now this blog is going to take a personal turn as I work to discover who I am at 25, my birthday is less than a month away. I am living in NYC learning to navigate love, life, and acquiring all the wisdom I can along the way.  Thanks for listening to my tidbits and have a great day.

-Simone Nicole